Mainstream dialogue over the past few months has tried to make us aware of something. The abundance of time we were all delivered. Albeit the gift of time was wrapped in a blanket of highly contagious germs, but it was time nonetheless.

Someone told us we should use our gift of corona wrapped time wisely. Actually a lot of people said it. The Deans of uni’s who gave us discounted courses. Medico’s trying to make home as appealing as possible. Outnumbered cops.

It also seemed like a fine time for self-development.

In your time starved pre-corona life you might have been restricted to yoga only once a week, maybe twice if you played your cards right.

But since time started showing up in droves, we can do yoga as one hashtag puts it #everydamnday.

Whilst the theory is sound, in reality it’s all BS.

In reality so much more than time is required.

The obvious requirement is motivation. It’s either internally or externally grown. The ideal storehouse is internal so external ripples don’t influence your goals and plans. All rain does is change the location of your run. An unreliable training partner delivers a solo session with music instead of talking.

I was in the Navy with someone who asked me repeatedly to run behind and yell at her to keep running. Whilst I found it absurd and the best way to ruin a peaceful run in the park, she knew her enemy.

Based on the conversations I’ve had with people over the last 12 years and especially the last three months, motivation doesn’t feel like the entire answer.

A fear of not doing the postures right. An expectation that it can’t possibly be as good as in a studio with a teacher. The restraint of time – I don’t have an hour and yoga is always an hour.

Just like my friend, knowing your enemy is powerful.

Some of the following words are yours, some are mine. They are snippets of conversations I’ve had over the past few months that seem to highlight these categories of enemies.

“If you move with awareness, you actually have to go out of your way to hurt yourself.”

“The worst case scenario in doing the postures a little bit right and a little bit wrong is the net value ends up neutral so physically you’re where you began. However what you’ve increased is internal motivation, habit and self-sufficiency.”

“15 minutes of yoga a day is more beneficial than one hour a week.”

“I now realise the value in curiosity.”

“I’ve heard a particular instruction for the past seven years but it wasn’t until I was in my house, doing it by myself that I got it.”

“I forget stuff that is said to me all the time but I don’t think I’ll ever forget the realisations I’ve come to on my own. These realisations I feel rather than think.”

There’s also another big player in the enemy game. It’s been at the heart of many conversations.

Who’s responsible?

I find the answer to this baffling, interesting, infuriating and provoking.

As humans we crave independence. It’s liberating. But of all the independence we seek, wellness doesn’t seem to be one.

We routinely hand ourselves over to doctors. We follow chains of referrals without asking questions. We pop whatever pills. We follow apps and trainers and years later still have no idea about our biology.

I couldn’t wait to be self-sufficient in yoga. I viewed it as a mark of independence. The interesting thing was that entering into self-sufficiency didn’t result in my never attending a class, enrolling in a course or interacting with a teacher. I did all those things. I did it with purpose though. I actively sought out information in areas I wasn’t yet self-sufficient in.

So who is responsible?

When you view responsibility through one lens it can look a lot like hard work. When you view it through another, it looks a lot like freedom.

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